Scott Rabalais nailed it earlier this week with his “Whack-a-Mole” jab on theadvocate.com: Every fall in Baton Rouge, a new crisis pops up, and Brian Kelly swings the mallet—only for another to burrow in before national title talk even starts.
Enough with the arcade metaphors. What’s unfolding is a coach who thrives in corner offices, not SEC trenches. He delegates disasters to assistants, hunts NIL cash like a Wall Street shark, and treats fixes like mergers. That flies in boardrooms. Not here. Not against Ole Miss, Alabama or Texas A&M.
Year One (2022): Hype exploded with Kelly’s $10 million a year Notre Dame exit. A 10-4 debut hid cracks. Sideline rants felt like HR workshops, not fire-up speeches. Special teams? A clown show—no returns, botched kicks, coverage like thrift-store rejects. Kelly imported Brian Polian from South Bend, then benched him midseason. Result: SEC-bottom kick coverage, flipping winnable games—like the Florida State opener lost on a blocked tying kick—into embarrassments.
2023: Moles swarmed. Matt House’s defense surrendered 28.0 points per game (81st nationally, worst for any 10-win Tigers squad). FSU dropped 45; Ole Miss gorged on 706 yards and 55 points. Kelly’s fix? Purge the entire staff two days after a ReliaQuest Bowl win over Wisconsin. A recruit-rattling bloodbath that screamed “CEO, not connected coach.”
2024: Blake Baker’s unit sparked a 9-4 rebound. Credit Kelly? More like desperate whacking to bury the last pest—while he fundraised an $18 million roster bailout after “taking receipts.”
Now 2025: Kelly touts his “best roster yet,” but the run game’s a joke. Dead last in SEC rushing at 104.8 yards per game, LSU mustered 57 yards on 22 carries (2.6 ypc) in a 24-19 gut-punch loss to Ole Miss—the league’s worst run D (at the time). No Tiger’s cracked 1,000 rushing yards since Tyrion Davis-Price in 2021. Kelly’s shrug? “It’s one game. We can run the ball.” One game? Try one plague. Donors get the charm offensive; the O-line begs for schemes that mask its mauling deficits.
Harsh reality: College football isn’t a Fortune 500 playbook. Saban’s Bama era? Hands in the dirt on every snap, every soul. LSU’s line—overmatched on zone blocks, leaking penetration—needs misdirection to flip the script on this executive drift.
If Kelly wants to save his tenure and fan faith in blood-and-guts glory, he must ditch the PowerPoints. Roll up sleeves with these bye-week mandates:
1. Gap-Scheme Misdirection
Pin-pulls and traps: Guards pin inside, tackles/TEs pull outside for cutback chaos. Perfect for agile backs like Harlem Berry to juke free.
Why? LSU’s line lacks bulldozers but packs speed—fall camp traps carved daylight. And that, turns out, was against a pretty damn good defense.
2. Under-Center Power
Jumbo I-form: Offset TEs lead-block downhill on belly/counters to grind SPARQ freaks.
Why? Just 16 under-center snaps in five games; they stunned Florida and SELU. Force respect at the point.
3. 12 Personnel Unbalanced
Two TEs, one back: Bauer Sharp’s combo blocks plus pre-snap shifts expose coverages. Durham and Kaleb Jackson feast on numbers edges.
Why? Neutralizes DT rushes, buys RBs a beat to read.
4. Jet Motion, RPOs, QB Threats
Sweeps and read-options: Motion a WR to yank edges, then hit draws/RPOs. Nudge Nussmeier to pull and run some—defenses crash hard without QB-run fear.
Why? One-note attacks invite eight-man boxes (three rush, eight drop). This splits their souls.
5. Screens and Draws
RB/WR screens: Quick passes to playmakers, block downfield. Delayed draws: Feint pass, burst vacated gaps.
Why? Hides O-line leaks, keeps ‘Bama-types guessing.
This isn’t wheel-reinvention—it’s football fundamentals. Kelly: Ditch the suit, spend dawns in the film room, sweat the practice reps in cleats, and keep the headphones on all game with the play sheet in hand. Okay, cleats optional, but they work for Blake Baker. Your PowerPoints? Locker-room dust-bunnies now. Fans shelled out for brawn and banners, not memos.
BK, what’s left to lose? Dive in, get and stay connected, start getting and stay dirty—or keep watching the moles overrun Tiger Stadium.
Fehoko’s Message
In his latest YouTube podcast, “A message to LSU football,” former LSU national champion and NFL veteran defensive tackle Breiden Fehoko delivers a passionate, frustrated plea to the Tigers program amid their 4-1 start to the 2025 season. Speaking as an alum deeply invested in LSU’s success, Fehoko laments the team’s apparent loss of identity and fire, stating that for any true fan, the season already feels over despite the record. He highlights a lack of player-led leadership and culture, insisting that “something’s gotta change”—whether it comes from the coaching staff or the players themselves—to reignite the program’s storied toughness and swagger.
Fehoko points to the brutal remaining schedule as a potential death knell, predicting losses to teams like Vanderbilt, South Carolina, Alabama, and Oklahoma, which he sees as winnable but reflective of broader motivational issues. He expresses skepticism about a turnaround but holds out hope, joking that he wants someone to clip the video after an SEC Championship appearance to call him out for not knowing football. The overall tone is raw and urgent, blending tough love with evident pain over the program’s direction, including specific gripes like head coach Brian Kelly reportedly turning away alumni eager to train with the current roster. Fehoko’s message underscores his belief that LSU must rediscover its championship DNA immediately to salvage the season.
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